Conspiracy Law

“Vladimir, I know I’m not a lawyer, but someone has to write law to make this a crime. This is horrible. This is evil beyond belief. These people think they’re God. They have no right to do this. I’ve studied a little bit of law in my real estate and insurance coursework, I’m going to try. If you think my law stinks, let me know, and I’ll stop.”

— Gail Schuler, Nobel Laureate

The Conspiracy Law is an (ostensibly) 1,600+ page omnibus bill intended to provide a legal framework to address the technological and political machinations of the Jesuit Order. It is currently only recognized within the national borders of Russia, making it largely useless against a trans-national society with spacecraft and teleportation technology it was designed to suppress.

Motivation

“Vladimir began to tell me how Jesuits used computer/satellite technology to induce long distance heart attacks, induce cancer (using genetic manipulations), create earthquakes, hurricanes, and other killing weather phenomenon, and to read minds and direct brain cell conversations (to monitor and control people). I eventually learned that just about everyone has a clone and that Jesuits often murder a person (who is not sympathetic to Jesuit goals), and then replace that person with their clone to make it appear that no one has been murdered. ”

— Gail

Motivated by her fear of Jesuit high technology, Gail decided to put a stop to Jesuit activities. Reasoning that the Jesuits were getting away with planet-wide murder, extortion, and spying sprees because their methods of committing these crimes weren't yet explicitly illegal, Gail resolved to write a handy body of law specifically for that purpose.

Crimes

Crimes covered by the bill include:

• Giving innocent people medical maladies via satellite.
• Causing earthquakes and hurricanes using HAARP technology.
• Replacing people with evil clones.
• Being an evil clone who has replaced someone.
• "stealing a man’s sperm and placing it in your vagina, in order to frame him with rape/irresponsible sex while you jump into his bed while he’s sleeping or doped out"
• Running a Political Action Committee while Jesuit
• Donating to political causes while Jesuit
• Engaging in political speech while Jesuit
• Voting while Jesuit.
• Willingly being a Jesuit.

All of the above are punishable by death.

Other Regulations

Other regulations within the bill include:

• Standards detailing when people who are neither Unwilling Agents nor Jesuit Clones may be declared such by the government.
• A policy for the immediate arrest and Nuremberg War Crime Trial of any Jesuit, Jesuit Conspirator, or violent person who ventures within a 5,000 foot circumference (read: 39 foot radius) of Gail or any other Significant Person.
• A mandate that everyone entering Gail's apartment building or Wal-Mart workplace must be brain-scanned by satellites.

Responses

US Copyright Office

Notice of copyright filed and accepted in 2007.

Harvard University

Gail has received honorary degrees in Medicine and Law from Harvard University as well as statements of support from unknown members of Harvard Law School.

Nobel Prize

Gail received the 2005 Nobel prize for medicine for her work on the therapeutic use of computer/satellite technology.

Official Use

• The Conspiracy Law was officially adopted into the law of Russia by Russian Emperor Vladimir Putin. It's not yet known if any other countries have become willing to adopt this legislation in full.
• The Vatican, under Pope John Paul II, wrote Section 8 of the Conspiracy Law into Vatican canon law, resulting in the election of the non-Jesuit Pope Benedict XVI after Pope John Paul's assassination.

See Also

• Cloning
• Computer Satellite Technology