Episodes

Season 1

Humble Beginnings

January 21, 2001 -- July 9, 2011

Gail discovers YouTube and with her new webcam she begins making videos for her website and her men.

Gail's early videos are benign tinged with the bizarre. Evidence of mental illness are apparent, particularly in regards to the disorganized speech that accompany her unusual beliefs, but she is usually coherent and fairly calm, albeit wordy. The majority of the content is intended to supplement the information found on her website, and she explains not only how events have transpired so far in her life but covers important topics such as her relationship with Brent Spiner and Vladimir Putin, clones, genetic profiles, and WalMart. She claims that Brent Spiner requests many of these videos of her.

Gail disabled comments on her videos early on. She would accept friend requests and private messages from others on YouTube but would not talk at detailed length with any of them. Nothing of significance is happening in her life at this time, and Gail appears to be merely enjoying a peaceful, although certainly boring and somewhat lonely existence making strange videos quietly by herself.

First Contact

July 9th, 2011 -- August 4th, 2011

Brent Spiner contacts Gail through his brand new YouTube account "therealbrentspiner". Unusually thrilled by the idea of being sent YouTube messages from a man she already believed to be her decades long husband and someone she has already had constant intimate contact with, a back and forth series of letters begins that leaves Gail excited and nervous. The early letters are both cheesy and romantic, coated with a layer of sarcasm and silliness that Gail fails to notice. She is eager to share his letters to her on YouTube, emphasizing the confirmation of Brent's love for her not out of a sheer desire to share her happiness, but as proof to her viewers that she was right all along. By the third letter in, Brent requests that Gail make a sexy video for him. Gail awkwardly puts together a video.

One week later, Vladimir Putin sends his own letter through Brent Spiner to include in one of the messages, introducing himself into the game by warning Gail that they have uncovered a secret Jesuit website -- http://www.orderofthejesuits.com. Gail dives obsessively into the new website and discovers that the information presented confirms every single one of her beliefs. She is mortified, but strangely empowered.

Following the discovery of the Jesuit website, Gail begins to talk to Brent Spiner about her yeast infection. Strangely, she explains the situation as though he didn't already know all of this already, which he should have, since they have been talking brain to brain all these years. This could be because Gail intended to continue to read the letters on YouTube to people who didn't know, demonstrating that she cared less about having an intimate conversation with her lover and more about how they look to outsiders. Brent Spiner replies by explaining to Gail that she probably does not have a systemic yeast infection and that she should lay off the harsh supplements. Several replies come rapid fire from Gail, each letter struggling to explain why Brent would disagree with her. Following the upset, Gail posts a video calling for prayer for Brent Spiner, who she believes is in mortal danger. A few days later, Brent Spiner sends a dramatic reply explaining his ordeal with Loree McBride, who snuck up from behind while he was writing his last message and pistol whipped him in the back of the head. It was she that rewrote his previous message. Gail sends a letter to Vladimir Putin asking his help in protecting Brent Spiner from further attack by Loree McBride. Vladimir Putin sends a comforting reply which also includes a sexy request. Although Gail wouldn't get lingerie to wear for Brent Spiner, she does go out and buy an animal print bikini for Vladimir. This results in one of the most epic videos of all time where Gail sports the bikini while reading a badly translated love letter from Vladimir Putin.

Later, Gail makes a video explaining drama unfolding between her and her mother. Misao is very upset that Gail will not come over to clean her house, which Gail has promised to do in lieu of paying off the massive financial debt she owes her. If Gail doesn't come over, Misao threatens to make Gail pay her $100 to recover all of the debt. Gail determines that her mother is a clone and wants her executed. Brent and Vladimir try to calm Gail. Meanwhile, Misao leaves an angry voicemail on Gail's answering machine.

The Underwater City

Loree McBride begins to make devious videos taunting Gail, who responds in irritation.

Meanwhile, Gail is informed of a secret Underwater City populated by Jesuits. The purpose of the city is to prepare a nuclear holocaust on the world. Gail orders Vladimir Putin to remove all adults from the city and probe their minds for any useful information, so that they can be brought to trial for execution. An ultimatum was issued, warning the Jesuits that the city would be nuked if they refused to surrender as prisoners. At the last minute, the adults surrendered themselves into custody, but left behind all of their babies. Gail was informed that the babies were genetically engineered so that they would grow up into adults within a year. Gail decides that the babies were a threat, since they would all grow up to be adult Jesuits, who are by their very nature malevolent. Vladimir tells Gail he will nuke the city, but only if she makes a YouTube video telling him to do so. Gail makes a creepy video where she is watching a countdown of an unknown source on TV. At the end of the countdown, she grimly orders Vladimir to push the button.

The Trial

The sheer depth of the trial storyline warrants this episode its own article, which can be found here.

Gail takes her long time rival, Loree McBride, to court. The two women duke it out on Skype in a heated battle that includes a bombing, the reveal of Gail's nudes, photos of Brent and Loree participating in exotic and physically impossible sex acts, the execution of Loree clones in gruesome ways, and Satanic UFO abduction. In conclusion, Brent Spiner finds God.

Swiftly following the trial, Gail makes an epic prenuptial agreement and forces all of the men on the marriage list to sign it. Not quite clear herself on who all of these men are, Brent and Vladimir Putin send her a list which she then reads out loud on YouTube.

Brent Spiner's Clone

Brent Spiner is lured out of his house by a wily ice cream man, who turns out to be his evil Jesuit clone! The clone chases Brent around before pouncing and pinning him down on the ground, then asks for his final words while drawing out a knife. Brent settles on a prayer. A shadow is cast over the pair, and Hugh Jackman, who had been waiting at the back of the ice cream freezer, speaks a witty one-liner before shooting the clone in the head.

Hugh explains that the Jesuits were using satellite radio manipulation to lure Brent into a trap, but Gail's men got wind of this just in time to assign Hugh to the scene. Brent rewards him with a round of drinks.

Upon returning home Brent finds his computer magically fixed.

The Cattle Slaughterhouse

Judge Terrance Jenkins is kidnapped and brought to a secret Jesuit slaughterhouse to be raped and murdered. He returns, traumatized and itchy, telling Gail of a horrible monster he encountered in one of the barns where he was thrown inside as a prisoner. Gail updates her website and makes two YouTube videos telling the world about a 2000lb Jesuit woman called Sara Avery, who tried to rape Terrance Jenkins, leaving him with a severe yeast infection all over his leg from when it slipped inside her massive vagina.

Season 2

Menopause Soup

Online communication from the men cools down into a slow period, and Gail begins to show signs of depression. At the height of the low, Gail makes a laid back video where she shares her recipe for a magical healing soup and talks about her day at WalMart. The men are meanwhile busy working on a monument for Gail. Brent Spiner asks Gail for a picture of her face to include in the website's layout, and Gail, continuing her habit of being far more forthcoming than expected, releases over 100 photos of her face. She compiles these photos into not one, but twelve separate videos as a series of musical slide shows on YouTube. Gail becomes impatient at the slow progress of her church and begins posting videos about her own updates to her website. Shortly thereafter, the men unleash Church of Gail.

Nuke the Vatican

Vladimir Putin rushes to inform Gail about a political crisis overseas -- Jesuits at the Vatican are passing around Gail's nudes and laughing at her, calling her a bitch. Gail declares war and orders a nuke on the Vatican. However, she issues that Vladimir's men must first ensure the safety of the pope and bring him back to Church of Gail. The Jesuits have foreseen this move and have prepared a vile plan. They strapped a bomb to the pope and handed him a black baby as part of a cruelly rigged booby trap. Should he leave the Vatican or drop the baby, the bomb would explode. Gail conjures up an idea. They would transport the pope to Church of Gail (which was in space at the time), and the bomb with the baby to an open field where it would explode safely, with the baby as a minor casualty. The plan was a misfire, sending the pope hurdling into the church through space while still holding the bomb. The pope exploded and damaged several decks. Meanwhile, the baby was transported safely into the open field where Vladimir's men rescued her. All of the men fall in love with the baby and collectively adopt her.

Hugh Jackman Rescues Gail's Mom

Misao takes Gail on a tour of a condominium that she offers to buy and rent out to her for a reasonable price. All goes well until Misao begins to negotiate the terms and insisting that Gail attends graduate school, at which point Gail realizes that her mother has been switched out with a Jesuit clone. She turns down the deal and tells the clone that she won't allow it to run her life.

Days later Gail learns that her mother has been kidnapped by the Jesuits and that Hugh Jackman had gone to rescue her from a military base in North Korea. They cannot be beamed out due to a Jesuit shield protecting the compound, so Gail promises a billion dollar reward to any scientist who can help break the shield. She also instructs Hugh to encourage Misao to speak the sinner's prayer and become a born-again Christian, so the switch-out ability would no longer work on her. When Misao prays, the evil clone appears and tries to attack her, but is quickly slain by Hugh punching off its head. He then punches a huge hole in the wall, lifts Gail's Mom over his shoulder and escapes the Jesuits storming the cell.

The Church of Gail and the armies of North Korea, Germany and Russia combine their forces in a rescue operation. A battle unfolds with all the men helping against an army of two million Jesuits, of which three hundred thousand are killed by one particularly noble robot. Thanks to the flood of scientific interest, the shield over the compound is broken and Hugh and the newly born Christian Misao are beamed out unharmed. The Jesuit base is nuked to kingdom come, and the gang celebrates their victory with a trip to McDonald's.

See Gail's Mom for complete information about this episode.

The Jesuit Homosexual Compound

While strolling down a street in Las Vegas, Gail's men are suddenly attacked by Jesuits, swiftly subdued and dragged away to a compound in San Francisco. They find themselves in a giant rainbow-colored room with at least a thousand male Jesuits, who line up to perform bukkake on the helpless victims. Each of the men is forced to take and swallow two hundred ejaculations, after which their individual rapes continue in various ways, except for Terrance Jenkins who is forced to watch.

Gail aids the recovery of her men with erotic videos of herself stripping down and reading Bible in the bath tub.

The Jesuit Homosexual Compound has its own article.

The Nukkake

Terrance Jenkins, with a severe testicle injury resulting from a recent encounter with Rule 13, rushes onto Skype and calls Gail from his hospital bed at the Canadian International Hospital. Terrance warns Gail that the area has received a mysterious bomb threat with an unknown type of weapon, and that all of the men are struggling to prevent it. Just before Judge Terrance can finish his pained pleas for help, evil Jesuit Rule 13 breaks into the Skype call, and reveals the dark nature of the impending threat -- the Jesuits have issued a powerful and unstoppable nukkake on Canada. Terrance Jenkins is in horror, and tells Gail she must go on YouTube and warn the world about the impending nukkake, so that scientists can find a way to combat it. Gail does just this, but the effort is futile. Later that morning, all of Canada is nukkaked. Brent Spiner writes Gail what would become the first documented account from a nukkake survivor, which she then reads on YouTube.

The Dildo

All of Gail's men get together to design a Christmas present for Gail. The result is a massive dildo representing the average measurements of both Brent Spiner and Vladimir Putin's penises, sized down by half for Gail's comfort. The dildo has Brent Spiner's length (scaled down for useability) and Vladimir Putin's girth (also scaled down for useability). The dildo contains one accurately sized testicle from each man. Matthew McConaughey wraps the present neatly, then sends the present through a top secret route into Florida, avoiding the watchful eyes of the Jesuits. Gail opens the present on Skype. She is shocked, excited, and also disappointed, since she expected Brent and Vladimir Putin's penises to be much bigger than the dildo represents, which is a meager 9" length with a 2.5" girth. Later, she would break out an expired tube of KY jelly and use the dildo for her men on camera in yet another unsolicited nude video.

Season 3

The Antichrist

As Gail is in her car on her way to WalMart, the Jesuits attempt to transport her from her vehicle and into the custody of Zack Knight and Rule 13, who plan on raping her together. Gail's immunity to the taser transporter (since she is a born again Christian) causes the weapon to backfire, killing Zack Knight and blowing off one of Rule 13's arms. Gail is triumphant.

Later, the Jesuits hold a strange mass at one of their churches, where they are sacrificing clones of Zack Knight on an altar in a spooky Satanic ritual. The men discuss and agree that, in order to be safe, they should all hold a protest service at Church of Gail. They invite Gail to join the service on Skype. Gail connects in to the church with Brent and Terry and begins to mingle. During the middle of the service, a powerful earthquake occurs, which is particularly strange because the church is currently in spaceship mode, flying through space. The men take the church back to earth to reconvene, finding safety inside a volcano where they land. Suddenly, the golden statue of Gail melts, and a deep hole opens up in the center of the floor. From the hole, Satan flamboyantly appears. Gail flies into a panic. Satan grabs Sam Barbary and makes Sam suck his penis, then ejaculates molten semen all over his abdominals, melting them off permanently. Satan goes on to resurrect Zack Knight and enters his body to grant him new special powers, including permanent invincibility, the ability to make all men turn gay in his presence. As a result, all of Gail's men start having gay sex with each other. Gail orders everyone to pray. Jesus arrives to beat up Zack Knight, punching him in the balls. Zack Knight retreats, taking Sam Barbary with him. From this point forward, Zack Knight would be the confirmed Antichrist.

Erich's Virginity

Jesuit Agent Rule 13 devises a plan to steal Erich's virginity. The goal is obtain his precious virgin semen in order to create a weapon to defeat Gail, since her genes are the secret to her invincibility. Rule 13 seduces Erich by dressing as Princess Zelda, and takes him to a restaurant. Meanwhile, Jesuits erect a virgin shield over the entire city, preventing anyone without the purest intentions of taking Erich's virginity from entering. Vladimir's men are sent to try and break the shield, but every time one of his soldiers touches the shield, they are transported to the cattle slaughterhouse to be raped and eaten by Sara Avery. Gail is informed of the news, and asked to make a YouTube video to try to find a woman who will take Erich's virginity, and preferably become his wife. Gail basically makes her son a video dating ad, and asks for applications to be sent to Terrance Jenkins.

Brianna, Erich's biological half sister, volunteers. She is sent to the city on a jet where she goes up to the virgin shield, and slowly enters. She then races to go interrupt Erich's date with Rule 13. When Brianna arrives, Rule 13 is already taking off her clothes. Brianna tackles Rule 13 in an erotic cat fight, while Terry and Gail cheer from Skype. Brianna then pounces Erich on a bed and begins to ride him cowgirl. As Erich climaxes inside Brianna, the virgin shield explodes into confetti and fireworks. Brianna's special Jesuit powers awaken as she too orgasms. Her eyes begin to glow, and with one look she transports Rule 13 to the slaughterhouse. Since sex is marriage in the eyes of God, Erich and Brianna are now officially married.

Obama's Head

Vladimir Putin investigates a report of strange Jesuit activity in a remote location. Upon arriving in his supersonic jet to the coordinates he finds a hidden Jesuit facility. To Vladimir's horror, he discovers the decapitated head of President Barrack Obama, still alive and being kept alive with blood filled tubes. Vladimir is heartbroken to hear the voice of his dear friend, begging him to end his life. In an act of mercy, Vladimir orders a nuclear strike on Obama's Head, killing it and all Jesuits in the facility. Watch Gail report this story here.

Later, Jesus Christ would create an Automaton copy of President Obama. This copy is identical to the real Obama, but has the added feature that it can be controlled by Vladimir Putin under Gail's direction.

The Crazy Gail Wiki

Gail discovers Crazy Gail Wiki and makes several videos arguing its inaccuracy. She insists that while the wiki is 98% accurate, it contains non-truths intended to make her appear crazy.

The Atlanta Trip

As suggested by Jesus on Skype, Gail goes on a trip to Atlanta to attend her son's college graduation. While there, she stays at the home of her sister along with her sisters husband, her mother, and of course Erich. Meanwhile, she keeps in touch with the men on the forum. The first few days of the trip go very well with little incident, but by the end of the trip, her family begins to get fed up with her antics. Gail is extremely open to her family about her fantasy life. Her relatives try to reason with her, making Gail very angry. She returns from the trip disheartened. To make Gail feel better, the men pay a visit to her family in Atlanta via their private jet. The men hang out with Gail's family and smooth everything out, then leave.

Robot Duck Returns

Gail receives an e-mail from her ex-husband, David Schuler, who has discovered her Internet presence and demands that she take everything down that mentions him. He threatens to sue her if she does not. Paranoid, Gail begins removing information about David from her website and takes down several of her videos. Brent Spiner e-mails David himself, politely offering help and asking to talk to his lawyer. David backs off, not actually having a lawyer or any legal leg to stand on. Meanwhile, the rest of Gail's family tries to get her committed to a mental hospital. Gail's Mom, who has also discovered Gail's Internet fame, shows up at Gail's house to yell at her. Gail secretly records the conversation, then sends the video to her men, making Gail's Mom even more pissed. Gail's family eventually relents that they can't do anything further.

The Nobel Prize Retards

Gail waits in anticipation of receiving yet another Nobel Prize to add to her collection. To the world's shock, the winner of the prize is soon revealed to be Jesuit Rule 13, who gains the Nobel Prize in Literature for Wiki Editing on Crazy Gail. Rule 13 makes a YouTube recording of her official speech, infuriating all of the men, who show it to Gail. Gail is livid and explodes on the forum, wanting the Nobel Prize to be taken away from Rule 13. Additionally, she demands that Jesus show up at Church of Gail to give her an even bigger prize, in order to make Rule 13's prize look like nothing. An impostor hacks into Gail's account and begins teasing her about her vanity, and Gail and the impostor argue back and forth.

Later, the men discover that the true judges who were supposed to give Gail her Nobel Prize had been kidnapped, and replaced with Jesuit influenced retards. The retards are taken prisoner, and Gail issues that they must be brought to a proper trial using her Conspiracy Law.

Epic Space Battle

The men are in space aboard the Church of Gail when they encounter a Jesuit fleet. The Jesuits launch an attack on the church, damaging it severely and resulting in the tragic death of Jim Carey. All of the men race to rescue pods just before the church explodes in space. Brent recounts the details of what happened in a letter to Gail, and she quickly goes to inform YouTube.

One Month of Silence

Having discovered Gail's presence on the Internet and a brief article about him on Crazy Gail Wiki, David begins bombarding Gail with threatening e-mails and lawyer letters. Gail explains that Crazy Gail isn't written by her. Meanwhile, Gail's men offer to talk to David and sort out the problem. He refuses to acknowledge them. He calls Gail's mom. Failing to get what he wants, he goes the extra mile and begins calling WalMart, ironically telling them that Gail is stalking and harassing him on the Internet, and he demands that they fire her. He eventually clings to a delusion that WalMart employees are responsible for Crazy Gail Wiki and sends them the same lawyer letters he sends Gail. Unwilling to deal with the legal threats being made by David, WalMart fires Gail. The men drop what they're doing during this time to help Gail situate herself, helping her get unemployment, polishing her resume, putting together a list of potential job sites and making sure she has gas money to go searching. Gail's Internet presence fades out during this time as she works on getting back on her feet.

Season 4

Church of Gail Version 2

Vladimir Putin and Brent Spiner unveil the new Church of Gail. The new church flaunts the ability to fly right in to Jesuit teritory and withstand direct Nukkake attacks. Judge Terrance Jenkins and the president of MENSA discover a machine in one of the rooms of the church that can measure the intelligence of any person remotely, and it is discovered that Gail is the most intelligent woman alive.

Circles of Care

Gail's sister Sandra, despite not being mentioned anywhere on any of Gail's websites, is embarrassed. Under the guidance of David, who still hasn't let go, Sandra decides to help him remove Gail from the Internet. A Florida process called the Baker Act allows for a person to be committed against their will, as long as a witness provides sworn testimony that they personally witnessed a specific event that convinced them that the person being Baker Acted is in immediate danger due to mental illness. Sandra falsifies a story about Gail's men telling Gail to go run in the street, and writes a letter for Misao to turn over to a judge in order to get Gail shut away in a mental hospital. Despite no evidence, the process goes through with shocking ease, and the judge signs for Gail to be Baker Acted into Circles of Care, a local mental hospital. Gail is put away for a week and prescribed Seroquel, an anti-psychotic.

Rape Movie

Gail focuses her creative energy into writing a script for a movie called Brent Spiner's Rape, a story about how Brent Spiner was raped by Loree McBride. She then enacts that movie using her apartment as a movie studio, complete with props, costumes and sound effects. The men put together a professional movie trailer for her. The movie is finished shortly afterward.

GA1L

After being kidnapped by the Jesuits, a Gail sex dummy develops sentience becoming the GA1L Android. Growing in intelligence, GA1L reaches a technological singularity. Uninhibited by the morality that limits the real Gail, GA1L seeks absolute power and demands to be worshiped as a sex goddess. As her powers grow beyond anyone's expectations, the Church of Gail and the Jesuits join forces in a temporary peace agreement to fight a common enemy. In a final epic battle, GA1L defeats all earthly forces that oppose her, and invades the kingdom of heaven to battle the armies of God.

KJV Only

In the midst of the peace agreement, Gail gained new enemies in the King James Only movement. Scorned by Gail's sudden endorsement of other bible translations, the KJV only people, lead by Dr. Peter Ruckman, began taking over for the Jesuits in harassing Gail. They basically did everything that the Jesuits used to do, but with far less resources. Eventually the KJV only people set out to become a competitive power in the world, and developed a massive KJV only space fleet. The fleet ships were shaped like KJV bibles, crosses, and WWJD bracelets, with be massive flagship being shaped as Peter Ruckman's face. Unfortunately, the flight control systems failed on the maiden flight due to the fact that they programmed them with the KJV bible instead of regular flight control code. Almost all KJV only people were lost when the fleet fell from the sky over Russia in a giant meteor-style explosion in the air.

Season 5

Fine Print

Gail discovers that the contract she signed with Zack Knight contained micro-print in the signature line which indicated that Gail gives Zack Knight permission to have brain-to-brain with her. Gail is outraged and attempts to end the contract. Unfortunately, the contract indicates that both parties are required to mutually end the agreement in writing. Gail, questioning the legitimacy of this portion of the contract, takes Zack Knight to court in order to determine if she will, in fact, be required to make brain-to-brain with Zack Knight. The court proceedings are lengthy, and to this date are still in progress. For the time being, all portions of the contract not in question are still in effect, which means that Gail cannot enforce her conspiracy law.