Gail Killed Bob
The Letters
In June of 2013 the world was hit with the tragic news that Gail had decapitated her apartment manager.
On the 18th of the month, a seemingly ordinary email emerged from Gail. In her message to the men, Gail describes her growing frustration with her air conditioner unit and her apartment manager, Bob.
| Gail Looks For Bob |
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The email was mused over and tossed aside as typical Gail faire and the Jesuits continued about their business as usual. However, on the 20th, reality suddenly grew very dark when a second, more disturbing email emerged. The leaders of the Jesuits, Zack Knight and Rule 13, immediately called an emergency meeting on IRC. Only the best and most dedicated of Jesuits were invited to this top secret meeting. After rounding up their chosen ones, the two leaders dropped the most horrific email ever received from Gail.
| Gail Confesses To Murder |
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Summary:
- Bob stops by to tell Gail that he can't fix her AC unit
- Bob throws salt on the wound by asking Gail for rent
- Gail throws herself on the floor in prayer and then asks a concerned Bob to come get his rent money on the kitchen counter
- Gail slashes Bob's throat, then drags him to her bathtub
| Jesuits react to Gail’s murder confession |
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The emails were posted onto Crazy Gail Wiki, along with a public announcement and an apology to the world.
News of the event spread faster than anyone had foreseen. Although the original plan had been to leave the disclaimer and emails up for at least 3 days, the unanticipated panic on the Internet grew so massive, the Jesuits were forced to take it down within 13 hours. Within that time, the emails had made it to every major Internet forum including reddit, 4chan, 888chan and others. The website received an onslaught of hacking and DDOS'ing attempts while the IRC channel filled with concerned and outraged fans. Several unrelated channels, including LordKaT Live, banned the discussion of the topic after conversation about Gail seized the entire channel.
The Aftermath
The results of the prank proved to be an interesting experiment for the Jesuits. During its brief 13 hour duration, the wiki received more hits than any other event in Gail history, including the nukkake – even when it wound up on public television on Tosh.0. Studying the results of the wiki spikes suggested that, although the public insists they have great sympathy for Gail and despise the work of her trolls, more people tuned into Gail whenever something bad happened in her life than at any other point in time up to that period. The graph below demonstrates evidence of this phenomenon.
Depicted in orange is the line representing when Gail received a nice Christmas present from the men and told the world about her wonderful holiday. Depicted in blue is the line representing the amount of interest when the public believed that Gail had murdered someone and her life was headed for a dark and traumatic end.
Scholars have concluded that more viewers would rather see bad things happen to Gail than good things, and turn away with boredom and disinterest as soon as they think Gail is happy and having a good time. In addition, evidence suggests that Zack Knight will always receive any blame and threats of punishment for ideas concocted and employed nearly entirely by Rule 13.
Gail's Reaction
Gail was expectedly angry with the Jesuits for framing her for murder. After the 13 hour event was over, Brent suggested she make a YouTube video to prove to frenzied fans that the bloody Bobsecution had never occurred and that Bob was not currently soaking in her bobtub, nor was he being molested or dumped off a fishing dock into the ocean. In a first ever tour of Gail’s apartment, Gail also demonstrates having done considerable cleaning since her visit with Melanie and Tyrone, as the floor is now visible and nearly completely free of trash.
| Where's Bob? | |
| Date | Sunday, June 23rd 2013 |
With tensions still on high, Gail later created a second video where she flies off the handle over the emails and attempts "comedy" -- as depicted by her habit of dressing up in strange outfits whenever she wants to make a "silly" video.
| What About Bob? (A Comedy Take on the Murder of a Landlord) | |
| Date | Sunday, June 23rd 2013 |
Medals of Honor
Regardless of the consequences suffered that day, the Order of the Jesuits team put up a valiant front in the face of a potentially heinous felony crime. For their efforts, each member went on to receive their very own Nobel Prize.
Angelinaballerina won a Nobel Prize in Sociopathy, for being unphased by the event even when she believed it was legitimate. She was disappointed when she was told it wasn't.
Kroxigor won a Nobel Prize in Walking for leaving the chat and going for a long walk in the dark. He walked to a local bar and turned down a proposition from a Japanese girl because he was too depressed.
Mgt won a Nobel Prize in Trauma Survival for being forever mentally scarred by the event but still being a good sport afterward.
Santiclause won a Nobel Prize in Loyalty for trying to help his friend Zack stay clean of trouble even when he thought a murder had legitimately taken place.
Zack Knight won a Nobel Prize in Acting for putting on such a stunning performance that members of the room never questioned him and ignored even obvious mistakes in deception that would have otherwise indicated it wasn't real.
Rule 13 won a Nobel Prize in Impersonation for constructing the entire hoax while taking a bath with Zack Knight, and then forging all the letters and chat logs of Gail and Terry.