Zack Knight
His heroism is masochism
His vastness is stubborness
His self sacrifice is bestiality
His nobility is vulgarity
His passion is raunchiness
His sexyness is vulgar and selfish lust for power and drunkeness
and his irresistability is brain control
He's a brilliant fake
A wolf in sheeps clothing”
Zack Knight is the current leader of the Jesuit Order. He is obnoxious, narcissistic, perverted, lustful, and lives to ruin everything. Although his humble beginnings started in human form, he later took the soul of Satan and became the antichrist. Gail sometimes refers to him interchangeably as Satan, believing him to be Satan incarnate. He possesses many frightening powers and is immortal, capable of being defeated only by Jesus, who is taking his sweet time until the rapture.
On average, Zack Knight has sex with at least 100 Jesuit women every day in order to impregnate them and increase the Jesuit population. Unlike Gail, Zack loves babies, and Gail lives in dreaded fear that he will one day impregnate her, which is his lifelong goal, and the only fate she can imagine worse than death. He came very close to filling Gail with one million babies when in 2012 he seduced her by posing as Jesus Christ.
Powers
Zack Knight has advanced telepathic abilities, the full extent of which are currently unknown. His signature move is the ability to make any woman instantly pregnant by simply gazing at them. It is possible for a woman to become pregnant just by looking at him, whether in person or by glancing at his picture. After Zack's stay in hell and personal brush with Satan, he gained several additional powers including invincibility and the power to make straight men turn gay in his presence.
Evil Presence
One of the most curious details about Gail’s condition is that she never appeared to possess the negative, harmful voices often apparent in the majority of schizophrenic cases. The only beings that have tried to communicate with her in her mind have been her men, who, rather than fill her with self-destructive thoughts, shower her with overwhelming praise and positivity. Despite Gail having already had longstanding, hated enemies such as Loree McBride, Zack Knight was the first and only evil character to ever manifest as a malevolent presence that directly said or did negative things to her. Gail often reports feeling him breathing on her, hissing at her, kissing her, or sticking his fingers inside her genitals.
He's actually hissing and breathing on me brain to brain, to show his displeasure. It's the Satan in Zack Knight coming out. I just ignore him and turn him over to Jesus. The fact that Zack Knight is getting less subtle about being Satan Incarnate to me brain to brain shows we are winning. He's hissing at me like a reptile. It sounds like a huge lizard with his tongue flicking in and out and hissing at me. I love it! Satan's getting frustrated!
Fortunately, Gail has ways of dealing with his unwanted intrusions into her mind. To protect herself, Gail will call on Jesus to punch Zack in the balls, will herself bite off Zack’s genitals, or use her lightning bolt powers to fry him.
The manifestation of the Zack presence comes out whenever Gail is having sinful thoughts or experiencing negative emotions such as guilt, frustration or anxiety. Sometimes just mentioning Zack in casual conversation can make him come out.
4:51:42PM Gail Schuler: Zack Knight has not been trying to seduce me a lot, lately. When he does, I tell him he's a bore and to go shove it. 4:52:18PM Gail Schuler: Now that we're talking, he just showed up. I just bit off his penis.
Episode Appearances
The Antichrist In a plot with Rule 13 to transport Gail from her car and capture her for rape, Gail’s powers as a born again Christian cause the transporter to backfire and kill Zack Knight. Later, the Jesuits resurrect Zack via a sacrificial mass that awakens Satan and causes him to enter Zack’s body. Zack obtains new powers and shows them off by making all of Gail’s men start having gay sex with each other.
GA1L Admitting defeat, the Jesuits propose a temporary cease fire agreement with Gail in order to join forces and fight the evil GA1L android. Zack joins Gail on Skype to chat with her and then signs his name to a written contract, which Gail also signs. Before launching a kamikaze attack on GA1L, Zack tells Gail that he loves her, apologizes for giving her a yeast infection, and admits that he prayed to be saved. He forgets everything later.
Fine Print Gail finds out that the agreement she signed with Zack Knight contained hidden microprint at the bottom of the page that obligates her to have brain to brain sex with him. She refuses and takes Zack to court over the contract’s entire validity.
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